Everyday annoyances, such as scattered items and uncompleted tasks, can lead to increased stress and frustration in shared living spaces, according to Dutch researchers and tidying experts. These seemingly small issues can accumulate and strain relationships between household members.

Differences in conscientiousness and perceptions of mess contribute to the problem. People with lower conscientiousness or conditions like ADHD may struggle with organization and task completion. Furthermore, what one person considers clutter may be perfectly acceptable to another.

A tidy house revolves around clearing up, organizing and maintaining. Each of these steps can be a stumbling block. Sometimes things are simply not cleaned up because someone doesn’t know where to start. In other cases, the charger keeps lying around on the counter because there is no clear place agreed where it should be. And then there is the maintenance, the ability and discipline to maintain a system structurally, where things can go wrong.

Personal experiences and associations with clutter also play a role. Scattered items can constantly remind us of postponed tasks and capture our attention. Clutter can be interpreted as a lack of respect for shared norms, leading to negative reactions.

Instead of judgment or criticism, curiosity and understanding are key to finding solutions. Change does not begin with judgment or criticism, but with curiosity. Clear communication, practical agreements such as designated places for items, and setting a good example can improve household tidiness and reduce conflict.

Sometimes, accepting different talents and prioritizing relationship harmony over perfect tidiness is the best approach. If the clutter continues to lead to daily frustration, she says with a wink, ‘maybe it’s not your house that needs tidying up, but your relationship’.