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Experiences of Families Dealing with Imprisoned Relatives

The impact of a family member’s imprisonment can be devastating, leading to feelings of shame, isolation, and a strained family dynamic. The loved ones of those incarcerated often grapple with guilt, social stigma, and emotional turmoil, as highlighted in the stories of three families.

One couple, Frans and Ineke van Es, discovered their son Max’s drug addiction after money went missing. Their attempts to help him through therapy and rehab failed, leading to his involvement in increasingly serious crimes. Max was eventually imprisoned for a violent home robbery, leaving Frans and Ineke feeling powerless and terrified. The experience damaged their trust in Max, and they struggled with the humiliation and judgment from their community.

Femke de Poorter’s son, Joep, was arrested in Germany for transporting 33 kilos of cocaine. The arrest and subsequent imprisonment led to immense stress and ultimately contributed to the death of Femke’s husband. Despite the crime, Femke maintains her love for Joep and regularly visits him in prison. However, the situation has fractured her family, with her other children blaming Joep for their father’s death.

Dave Hovenga’s son, Roy, received a 21-month prison sentence after a fatal stabbing. The family faced severe repercussions, including social isolation, threats, and damage to their property. Hovenga founded Stichting Sang to support other relatives of detainees, recognizing the lack of professional help available to them. Despite the crime, Hovenga maintains a good relationship with Roy and visits him weekly, demonstrating his unconditional love.