Arno Schartman, 63, a retired ICT director, shares his poignant journey through grief and rediscovery after the sudden death of his wife, Annemieke, in a cycling accident. After 38 years together, Schartman faced immense guilt and sorrow, but ultimately found a path towards healing and a new chapter in his life.

The tragic accident occurred on June 2, 2021, when a van struck Annemieke while they were cycling. Schartman recalls the immediate aftermath, the arrival of emergency services, and the devastating news of his wife’s passing. They had been each other’s first love, meeting as students and building a life together filled with love and shared experiences.

In the initial days following Annemieke’s death, Schartman threw himself back into work as a way to cope with the overwhelming grief. He even provided his colleagues with a “user manual” to guide their interactions with him during this difficult time. However, six months later, a health scare prompted a shift in perspective, leading him to retire and focus on living life more fully.

Schartman sought various avenues for healing, including EMDR therapy to address his guilt, open water swimming, meditation, and sharing his feelings with close friends and family. He also explored dating, eventually finding a new partner who understood his grief and shared similar experiences.

Now, Schartman reports that he rates his life an 8 out of 10. He is looking forward to becoming a grandfather, moving to a new city, and embracing new adventures. Despite the deep pain of loss, he has found resilience and a renewed appreciation for life.