A new book titled “Good Enough” encourages parents to lower their expectations and recognize the importance of community in raising children. The authors, psychologist Marie Tolstrup and sociologist Maria Ørskov Akselvoll, argue that the modern focus on individual-oriented upbringing has led to undue stress for parents and a neglect of the broader social environment’s influence on children.

The book challenges the “new view of children” that emphasizes equality, trust, and the child’s inner feelings, arguing that it has overshadowed the importance of teaching children to consider others and participate in communities. According to Maria Ørskov Akselvoll, this shift has resulted in parents feeling pressured to adhere to numerous rules and expectations, creating an impossible mission.

The authors advocate for a return to a more balanced approach where children are exposed to and shaped by various communities, including educators, friends, and extracurricular activities. They believe that children need a “village” to thrive and that parents should recognize that their child’s well-being and development are not solely dependent on them.

The book also addresses the stress and anxiety experienced by parents due to the pressure to be overly involved in every aspect of their children’s lives. It criticizes the parenting industry and self-proclaimed experts who promote the idea that every parental action is crucial to a child’s life path.

Maria Ørskov Akselvoll advises parents to embrace the “middle ground” and avoid over-engagement, emphasizing that they are not as crucial as they think. She encourages parents to be critical of the parenting advice they receive and to trust their own instincts. The authors aim to free parents from the unrealistic ideals and formulas that have come to dominate modern parenting.

Ultimately, the book seeks to reassure parents that they are “good enough” and that there are many ways to raise children successfully. It encourages them to lower their shoulders, drop the pursuit of perfection, and recognize the value of community involvement in their children’s lives.