A mother, writing under the pseudonym Esther Leuran, has published a diary chronicling the 400 days following the death of her 17-year-old son in the Field’s shopping center shooting in Copenhagen on July 3, 2022. The diary, titled “The First Day,” details her profound grief, struggles with daily life, and enduring love for her son.

Leuran’s diary entries paint a vivid picture of her life shattered by the tragedy. She describes the initial shock and uncertainty, the agonizing process of identifying her son, and the pain of his funeral. The book explores her inability to work, her sleep disturbances, and the recurring nightmares and memories of her son.

The diary also reveals the mundane aspects of grief, such as the metallic taste that permeates everything and the torment of holidays. Leuran writes of sleeping in her son’s room, keeping his belongings as they were, and longing for even a few more minutes with him.

Despite the overwhelming sadness, “The First Day” also serves as a reminder to cherish life and appreciate loved ones. Leuran reflects on the importance of expressing love and the pain of parents who would give anything to have their children back. The book highlights the enduring power of family and the importance of community support in navigating loss.

While the book is an emotional and difficult read, it is also a testament to the enduring love between a mother and her son.